Patron Anagrams - December 2016

When I launched my Patreon site in September, I offered to tweet a Launch Day Anagram to everyone who signed up.

It turned out to be a great deal of fun, so I crafted an anagram cannon and I decided to do it again for all first-time patrons.

Thank you all!

New Patron Anagrams for December 2016

Dec 5. Pat "Pirate's Family" Fair-Smiley
Dec 5. Thomas "Takes Heroism" Reiske
Dec 14. Maxi "Razz Loving: Amaze an Ex" Gonzalez Narvaez
Dec 20. David E. "Dead-Ass Driven" Sanders
Dec 21. Karl "Lank 'n Horn-E" Hennon
Dec 21. Brendan "Slap Any Blender" Lapsley
Dec 28. Misty "It's Smiley" Isle
Dec 28. Randy "Ye Tarty Nudge" Guyette

Patron Anagrams - November 2016

When I launched my Patreon site in September, I offered to tweet a Launch Day Anagram to everyone who signed up.

It turned out to be a great deal of fun, so I crafted an anagram cannon and I decided to do it again for all first-time patrons.

Thank you all!


Nov 19. Brad "Barbed Grail" Gabriel!
Nov 19. David Yoda "I'd Avoid Dead, Yo" Odie
Nov 19. Jennifer "Finer Jeer Knell" Keller
Nov 19. Jay "Janky 'n Able" Blanken
Nov 19. David "Odd Non-acid Hazard Verve" Hernandez Cordova
Nov 20. Christopher "Riper Horse Butcher" Rueber
Nov 20. Alexander "Seer Rented a Phalanx" Peterhans
Nov 30. Paula "A Pro Alumna" Moran
Nov 30. Jeremie "Mr. Real Eyrie Jive" Lariviere
Nov 30. Kelly "Only Provided a First Name!"
Nov 30. Evan "Way Evened" Dewey
Nov 30. Chris "Pizza Choirs" Piazzo
Nov 30. Alishia "Harmonica Aisle" Cameron
Nov 30. Donald "Can Download" Cowan
Nov 30. Emile "Wise Czar Helm" Schwarz
Nov 30. Irfaan "I had a Fury Ranch" Chaudhry
Nov 30. Stephan "Snappy Teen, He" Payne
Nov 30. Nathan "Enchants Tan Rhinos" Christenson
Nov 30. Kristen "Near Trickster" Carter
Nov 30. Maestro "Roast 'Em" Something
Nov 30. Osye "Spotty Heretic" Pritchett
Nov 30. Heath "No Hot Breath" Borton
Nov 30. Jake "Jog Her Kettle, Babe" Bottelberghe
Nov 30. Katie "Semi-Meerkat" Mesmer
Nov 30. Jamie "Embrace His Jam" Chambers
Nov 30. Michael "The Smokey Chinchilla" Tohlchinsky
Nov 30. Kevin "Kelvin: Monk's Ice" Mickelson
Nov 30. Cam "Bank Scam" Banks
Nov 30. Jason "Jinn Sans Joke" Jenkins
Nov 30. Sue "Noon Duels" London
Nov 30. Dead "Damned Genteel" Gentlemen
Nov 30. Robert "Bronco or Tenor?" O'Connor
Nov 30. Kathleen "Hunt, Then Kale" Hunt
Nov 30. Jan "Err Jamming" Grimmer
Nov 30. David Lars "A Virile Badlands Charm" Chamberlain
Nov 30. Andi "Amid Hints" Smith

Orcish WOTD - November 2016

Follow along on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook
OrkazBasic True Type Font (zip file containing the .ttf and and readme.pdf)

Nov. 28. ELLERSAD (shy).
Remember: "shy" doesn't mean "friendly." Named after David Ellerson Sanders. Coined by BayouShaman.
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 26. TARDIZ (deja vu)
Named after Tardis. Coined by Wayne Davies.
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Nov. 25. TARDIZ (deja vu)
Named after Tardis. Coined by Wayne Davies.
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Nov. 24. HUHELNUAM ("humelfling")
A delicacy (in some clans) comprised of a roast human stuffed with an elf stuffed with a halfling. Coined by Nathan Rice. Happy Thanksgiving!
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Nov. 23. GRINNEL (onward)
Named after Ginnel. Coined by Reed Nightingale.
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Nov. 22. NUMORK (half-orc)
What do the orcs think of their half-breed cousins? The prefix "num-" means "weak."
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Nov. 21. CHARNAG ("sapivore")
One who eats the flesh of other intelligent species (but not one's own).
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Nov. 20. NONGAG (inconceivable)
They keep using that word. It means what they think it means. Named after Nongaga. Coined by Joana Smolen.
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Nov. 19. TENORA (to retreat in dishonor; be routed)
Named after tenors. Coined by Erik Samuelson.
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Nov. 18. SKALDID GADZKID (Bardic immunity!)
If ever there were a phrase worth memorizing.
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Nov. 17. RANSAX (money)
It's unclear whether the orcs got this word from us. It certainly matches their dominant economic model.
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 16. PIKRISBOR ("little" brother)
A younger brother who is physically larger than you. Named after Christopher Wiley. Coined by Kevin K° Wiley. Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 15. ULSHARRAX (The Shadow)
The Shadow? The Shadow... Named after Ul Sharrow. Coined by Scott DeFranco-Norton.
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 14. KASKEMIAX ("prevenge")
Revenge taken before you've been wronged. It's a real time saver.
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 13. TROGDA (burn)
Named after Trogdor the Burninator. Coined by David Hergesheimer.
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 12. KIRKOMPA (have sex with another species)
Named after James T. Kirk. Coined by James McKendrew.
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Nov. 11. BRUSKAMBUL (chin)
Named after Bruce Campbell. Coined by Jeremiah Frye.
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Nov 10. DUKITOD (dungfoot)
Idiot, imbecile; an orc so stupid he'd step in dung. The orcs' sense of smell is so keen it borders on the canine; they can tell where anything as pungent as dung is without looking. Therefore, an orc who goes ahead and steps in dung after knowing it's there is a moron of the highest caliber. Coined by Christi Kurihara.
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 9. DUZSA (fuck)
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 8. SEBZAKHUL (cow-hunter)
A grievous insult, as it implies the only game and orc is capable of bringing down is the humies' farting, lumbering feed beast. Incidentally, this is why you should never offer an orc beef. It is the custom in many tribes to show respect in the manner of food you offer; the more difficult the food was to catch, the greater the esteem in which you hold your guests. If possible, offer orcs bear or lion -- they will be on their best behavior, as you have shown them great honor. Venison is perfectly acceptable and conveys healthy respect. Even fish is a good choice, as it takes cunning and patience to catch one. But cow? Might as well say "We think you're stupid and incompetent." Wars have started over less.
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Nov. 7. KEKA (slaughter)
The orcs used the escalation prefix "ke-" with the verb "ka" (kill) so frequently that it became it's own word: keka, meaning hyper-kill , or slaughter.
| Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 6. TUMINSODRED ("ear necklace")
A piece of jewelry made from trophies taken from fallen enemies. Literally "ear necklace," a tuminsodred doesn't always contain ears, and isn't always a necklace. Coined by Steve Jackman.
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 5. WHAK (club)
Even the orcs use onomatopoeia.
| Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 4. HUMI (humie)
Derogatory term for a human. If the orcs whip this one out, their knives aren't far behind.
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 3. AKILAD AGA ("please")
The orcs have no word for "please." The closest approximation they understand is "akilad aga" (literal translation: "I am weak").
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Nov. 2. SHARVADJ (scrap-axe)
An axe hewn out of scavenged materials rather than forged. Both quick to make and easy to replace, the brittle scrap-axe became one of the orcs' most widely-used weapons during the Red Exodus. Though it's rarely seen on the battlefield anymore, the scrap-axe has become a weapon as associated with the orcs as the atrocity-knife.
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Patron Anagrams - September 2016

My Patreon is live! To get the word out and thank each and every person who supported me on the first day, I offered to tweet a Launch Day Anagram. It was a lot of fun and I may end up doing it for anyone who supports me via Patreon. Thank you all!

Launch Day Patrons

Sep 22. Seth "Saved This" Davis
Sep 22. James "Enjoys a Magnum" Youngman
Sep 22. Rob "Mr. Able Cannon" MacLennan
Sep 22. Gabriel "Bargain Lodge" Gonda
Sep 22. Mike "Monkish Tempo" Thompson
Sep 22. Emily "My Equal Inn" Quann
Sep 22. Alaina "A Real Main Boo" Boomer
Sep 22. Jimmy "Jam My Icicle, Hmm?" McMichael
Sep 22. Jonathan "No Jan. Manhunt" Munn
Sep 22. Nancy "Vinyl Cancan" Vancil
Sep 22. Mike "Tome Kit" Ott
Sep 22. Quinlan "Chants Null Quiz" Schulz
Sep 22. Maggie "Teargasses A Few Off Mugging" Ferguson-Wagstaffe
Sep 22. Andrew "Absorbent Wear" Obertas
Sep 22. Emily "My Orioles" Roos
Sep 22. Chris "Smirch This" Smith
Sep 22. Daniel "Denim Llama" Lamm
Sep 22. Zombie "Hip Umber Oozes" Opheus
Sep 22. Kate "Ms. Karate Hall" Marshall
Sep 22. Nicholas "Didn't Provide a Last Name" Something
Sep 22. Lee "El Vinegar" Garvin
Sep 22. Stephanie "I Fax a Telephone's Din" Fox-Daniel
Sep 22. Shawna "Gnaw a Nosh? Ha!" Hogan
Sep 22. Rufus "I Can't Really Do This without Surnames" Something
Sep 22. Sarah "Seriously, Where are the Surnames?" Something
Sep 22. Courtney "Acutely Ornery" Rayle
Sep 22. Alexander "Axed Heaven's Lark" Kashev
Sep 22. Danielle "Triple Oleander" Porter
Sep 22. Jeremy "Ay, Jeer, Mr. Spy" Spray
Sep 22. Michael "Nominal Ham Ache" Monahan
Sep 22. Kevin "Inky Weevil" Wiley
Sep 22. Alexander "Earwax Lance Lender" Lawrence
Sep 22. Matt "Kiss That Mum" Shimkus
Sep 22. Leslie "Sell Lakeside" Sedlak
Sep 22. Frederic "Reffed Critique" Fiquet
Sep 22. Morten "Opulent Sermon" Poulsen
Sep 22. Grant "Start Melting" Smittle
Sep 22. Mark "Ram Roll Rack" Carroll
Sep 22. Tamra "Exalt Calmer" Excell!
Sep 22. Laura "On a Walrus" Snow
Sep 22. Jason "I Haven't Got A" Surname
Sep 22. Don "Royal End" Early
Sep 22. Andrew "Rips a Work Deadline" Dopieralski
Sep 22. Gordon D. "Odd Drunk Ego" Duke
Sep 22. James "Them Beer Jars" Herbert
Sep 22. William "Won a Herbal Oilskin Swim" Hawkes-Robinson
Sep 22. Woody "Won Drool Day" Arnold
Sep 22. Kevin "Drink Heaver" Harder
Sep 22. Terra "Leans Retro" Olsen
Sep 22. Nicholas Andre "Elk Snot: A Hindrance" Kent
Sep 22. Moritz "Zither Storm Cub" Schubert
Sep 22. Mel "Zen Mallard: Elm Delver" Melendrez-Vallard
Sep 22. Trit! I can do nothing with that...
Sep 22. Donald "Vandal Nodes" Evans
Sep 22. Sam "Ash Aroma" O'Hara
Sep 22. Daniel "A Providence Lion" Provencio
Sep 22. Helen "Blench Rebuke" Brubeck
Sep 22. Michael "I Retch Caramel" Carter
Sep 22. DC "Club Elder" Bueller
Sep 22. Xeledon "Need Lox" NoLastName
Sep 22. Laura Red "Total Crusader" Scott
Sep 22. James "Jigsawed Moon" Goodwin
Sep 22. Keith "A Killer Month" Rollman
Sep 22. Jason "A Nacho Sith Jock" Haithcock
Sep 22. Daniel Aaron "A Neural Beard Ikon" Burke
Sep 22. Jay "Perky Raja" Parker
Sep 23. John "Lord John I" Idlor
Sep 23. David "Adz Avoid Us" Souza
Sep 23. Brad "Border Brats" Roberts
Sep 23. Josh "Aloha Jays" Ayala
Sep 23. Lenurd "Toughened Jerk Melon" The Joke Gnome
Sep 23. Andrew "Wanted Brewers" Webster
Sep 23. Rasmus "A Rajah Burns Drums" Durban Jahr
Sep 23. Dale "Lazed Tank" Kantz
Sep 23. Matthew "Two Peach Attempts" Scoppetta
Sep 23. Max "A Benchmark Named X" Beckman-Harned
Sep 23. Cassi "I Cuss Scamming" Cummings

Patreon is Live!

We are live! Or will be shortly. Chances are I'm still fiddling with text. In the meantime, here's a snazzy pic of the sample story available on the page, which I should really link to.

Coming soon to Patreon...

Matt Vancil is Creating Fiction

On Thursday, September 22, I will be launching a Patreon page to provide fiction and regular behind-the-scene looks at my upcoming projects: Hopjockey, Fred Prince of Darkness, future seasons of JourneyQuest and more.

If you've enjoyed my work, or think you might, I'll bet I can make you laugh for a few dollars a month.

I'll have a special gift for everyone who signs up on the first day. To keep informed, please....

Join my mailing list for updates!

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